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As we settle into 2025, I’ve been doing some deep reflection on the stories I tell myself – those persistent whispers of doubt that shape how I move through the world. You know the ones: those “truths” we’ve carried so long they feel like part of our identity. But here’s what I’m learning: just because we’ve believed something for a long time doesn’t mean it serves us or that it’s actually true.

1. “I’m Not a ‘Real’ Writer”

Despite running a community focused on personal growth, despite showing up daily to put words on paper, despite the fact that I’m literally writing this blog post right now – I still sometimes catch myself thinking, “I’m not a real writer. I’m not creative enough.” This is classic imposter syndrome, that persistent feeling of being a fraud despite evidence to the contrary.

What I’m learning is that this belief stems from a mythical image of what a “real writer” looks like. I imagine someone who never struggles with blank pages, who pumps out perfectly crafted prose on their first try, who never doubts their creative choices. But that person doesn’t exist. Real writing isn’t about effortless creativity – it’s about showing up, wrestling with words, and being willing to write badly until it becomes good. Every time I put words on paper, I am, by definition, a real writer.

2. “I’m Not Interesting or Desirable Enough for Deep Friendships”

This belief is particularly sneaky because it creates a self-fulfilling prophecy. When we believe we’re not interesting enough for meaningful connections, we tend to:

– Hold back from sharing our authentic thoughts and experiences

– Decline invitations or fail to extend them

– Maintain surface-level conversations instead of diving deeper

– Unconsciously push people away to protect ourselves from rejection

The irony is that our most interesting qualities often emerge in moments of genuine connection and vulnerability. Everyone has a unique perspective, a distinctive way of seeing the world, and experiences that only they can share. Including me. When I catch myself believing I’m not interesting enough, I’m learning to ask: “What if the very things I think make me uninteresting are actually what make me unique and valuable in relationships?”

3. “One Missed Day Means I’ve Failed”

This might be the most insidious limiting belief because it impacts every attempt at positive change. It’s the voice that says, “You missed a day of meditation? Well, there goes your practice.” Or “You skipped writing yesterday? Guess you’re not serious about being an author.”

This all-or-nothing thinking ignores a fundamental truth about human growth: progress isn’t linear. Life isn’t about maintaining a perfect streak – it’s about the overall trajectory. Missing one day doesn’t negate all the progress we’ve made, just like eating one unhealthy meal doesn’t undo months of nutritious eating.

I’m learning to reframe this belief into something more sustainable: “Consistency matters more than perfection.” When I miss a day, instead of quitting, I can ask:

– What led to missing this day?

– What can I learn from this interruption?

– How can I make it easier to get back on track tomorrow?

– What would I tell a friend in this situation?

Moving Forward:

Identifying these limiting beliefs is just the first step. The real work comes in actively challenging them, day by day, moment by moment. It’s about catching ourselves in these thought patterns and gently asking, “Is this really true? What evidence do I have for and against this belief?”

Some practical strategies I’m using to work through these beliefs:

– Keeping a “wins” journal to document evidence that contradicts these limiting beliefs

– Sharing my struggles with trusted friends in The Chapter Collective who can offer outside perspective

– Practicing self-compassion when these beliefs surface

– Setting small, achievable goals that help build evidence against these beliefs

– Finding Bible verses that remind me of the real Truth

The most powerful realization I’ve had is that these limiting beliefs aren’t facts – they’re stories. And if they’re stories, we have the power to rewrite them. We can choose different narratives that serve our growth rather than restrict it.

What limiting beliefs are you becoming aware of in your own life? How do they shape your actions and choices? Join us over at The Chapter Collective for support and encouragement. Remember: awareness is the first step to change, and you’re not alone in this journey of unraveling and rewriting your stories.