Everyone knows by now that I am a little bit of a perfectionist. I expect the best from myself, from my family, from my friends. I often set myself up for failure and disappointment when I do that. I know that. I accept it, but it doesn\’t mean I\’ve learned to live with it.

School started back on Monday after a long, fabulous three week break. I came back to work to chaos because I hadn\’t really planned or prepared much during the break. But, I pulled it together pretty quickly and my kids have been responsive to the things we\’re doing. Midway through the day on Monday, I noticed my voice starting to waiver. I attributed to talking more and louder than I had in weeks, and to the layer of sawdust that had blown in through the permanently semi-open window when the huge old oaks were cut outside my room.

However, three days later, I\’m in absolute misery. My head hurts, my ears hurt, my throat hurts, I can\’t hear, I can\’t talk, and I\’m coughing. Time for a visit to the doctor. To no one\’s surprise, she pumped me full of antibiotics to cure the ear/sinus infection and some decongestant to thin out the gunk. So, I\’m sick. It\’s official.

The problem is the timing. This week just doesn\’t work for me. Tomorrow is Audrey\’s birthday and I had planned to take the day off and accompany her class to the pumpkin patch. Doc says that is a bad idea. Audrey disagrees. Tomorrow night, we have tickets to see a play at the Opera House, which is part of my awesome birthday gift from John. My house is a MESS. I need to clean up and cook, and then, of course, clean up again. Family is coming Saturday morning for Audrey\’s birthday brunch. I\’ll usher them out the door just in time to welcome in a gaggle of five and six year old girls in their pajamas for our non-sleepover PJ party. Gotta get the cupcakes baked for that. Sunday, we\’ll have church, Sunday School, and a chili potluck Harvest Party after church. Maybe a mini-nap will happen before Trick or Treat on Sunday night.

I\’m thinking I need to be 100% to do all this. I\’m not. I am about 65% right now. I\’ve been advised by many to let go, not to worry, and such. The problem is, I want to be Supermom. I thrive on it. I want to please everyone, do it all just right, and never, ever disappoint. In my quest to be perfect, I fear that I might just be missing the point of it all.

#inferioritycomplex #parenting

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